{:=:}

Lt. Tom Foolery's Report - Entry 7282010

2010-08-31T18:09:00.017-04:00

The morning after our sweatiest and most scantily clad show yet, the troops breakfasted at Nashville's finest Pancake Pantry, knocking our best meal of the tour so far into second place. Sorry Waffle House. Alas, no visual evidence of said yummies exist but, the troop's up and coming backgammon novice described it best when he said, "The pancakes were excellent. So good we don’t have any pictures of them."

Then, it was time to skedaddle. Next stop: Bloomington, Indiana.

We arrived at the Mike's studio and venue called Sound Workshop, with warm greetings of welcome, along with snacks and booze. YES! First up was Dust from 1000 Years, followed by Datus. JP and the Gilberts played next and When We Might closed the show. Like the pancakes, Datus was so good that we don't have any pictures of them.

JP & the Gilberts gave a rousing, foot stompin', jig dancin' worthy performance.

Mesmerized, members of Datus and JP and the Gilberts listened attentively to Dust from 1000 Years and When We Might.

After the show everyone had a plan. Trevor's was to showcase his impeccable beer choice to gain popularity. It worked. Unfortunately, some were too weak under Trevor's spell. Under the influence of too much PBR and over exertion of the bladder, one of our troop members had a wittle accident.

Ezer laughed. Alex cried. But, it was ok because Tim had a plan!!! (aided by Rachele's never ending quest for waterin' holes.)

NIGHT SWIMMING!!! We all had a grand ol time. And some flexed their machismo by competing in an Olympic style pole jumping event.

The next day it was off to Chicago. But not before Tim farted all on Rachele's pillow. She didn't mind because she was excited for the season premier of Mad Men-- ingenious foresight on the part of Trevor. Everyone else was excited too. We loved it. Thanks JP for driving up there all alone <3

September 3rd | Surreal Estate | 8pm

2010-08-30T11:49:00.005-04:00

We recently shanghaied Alex Hills and coerced him into playing with us. Apparently all we had to do was to surround him with equipment so he couldn't leave. Worked like a charm! This Friday, September 3rd at Surreal Estate, we'll be displaying his skills and figuring if he'll fetch a high price in Bushwick Brooklyn.
We'll also be playing with Starring, Roulettes, Algae and Tentacles, and The Workshop Model.

Colonel Longinus' Tour Log - Entry 7272010

2010-08-20T15:02:00.013-04:00

10:22 Hrs ::

We woke up in Agent Berg's safe house. We desperately needed to resupply, so we gathered in the mobile carrier and charted a course for more rations and ammunition. We first managed to locate a food silo.

12:03 Hrs ::

As soon as we arrived at the food silo, it became apparent to us that we were probably being tailed. We quickly retooled our camouflage and blended in seamlessly with our environment.

12:54 Hrs ::

As soon as we located an ammunition storehouse we were able to survey the local geography.

16:16 Hrs ::

We had received word from HQ on the way to our next mission in Nashville Tennessee that they had developed a new compound mixture to make us better soldiers. Some sort of Agent Orange type experiment. We all ingested the drug, but it had wildly different effects on each of us.

21:38 Hrs

As we proceeded into Operation Little Hamilton Collective, the compound mixture was still taking effect. JP & The Gilberts company had to completely adjust their strategy to cope with the psychotropic drug. They extended their assaults and were only able to secure three victories during the engagement. However the strategy that they developed in this mission helped to spawn similar tactics for future encounters.

22:34 Hrs ::

Cum Dad company was apparently well versed in the drug and could handle the operation with technically proficiency and serious assault. Our team was truly impressed.

02:16 Hrs ::

Cum Dad company had a bunker not too far from our site that we could haul into for the night. Staff Sergent Gilbert stood watch in the mobile carrier and the rest of us immersed ourselves in some of the Nashville Tennessee brigade. While I was securing my sleeping quarters for the night, I had found Cum Dad company's top secret blueprint for successful combat. I took a picture for further study.

Colonel Longinus' Tour Log - Entry 7262010

2010-08-18T13:19:00.023-04:00

16:01 Hrs ::

We arrived in Greenville South Carolina station to embark on Operation Horizon Records. We met up with Agent Berg and the full Horizon team. We coordinated our missions and reset all our bearings.

16:30 Hrs ::

Rear Admiral Hill and Specialist Trotter were taking surveillance photos of the location.

18:32 Hrs ::

Pictures of Datus company and JP & The Gilberts company during Operation Horizon Records.

Video of Datus company during Operation Horizon Records.

Video of JP & The Gilberts company during Operation Horizon Records.

19:47 Hrs ::

Corporal Maase got the call from HQ that we needed to inflitrate Greenville further. This doubled our load, but the payoff would be exponential. We carefully developed a strategy in a bug free room with out much visibility to make sure we could get in out without any snafus. I relayed the plan to rest of the crew.

21:20 Hrs ::

Our second mission, Operation Rhythm and Brews, was a curious detour. I feel like this might have been more of a test from the higher ups then a full fledged mission. Something definitely seemed amiss. Maybe it was the photos of has-been soldiers plastered on the walls, particularly STP company and Bon Jovi company. Or maybe it was the gladiatorial events broadcasting from the overhead monitors, particularly ball based contests. We pulled it off like pros, though, and managed to secure some local currency to trade for rations.

02:05 Hrs ::

We debriefed with Agent Berg and his team at his safe house. We discovered that we may have an issue with one of our harmonic instruments, which we will have to adjust for in future missions.

For a more detailed report of our mission from team member Alex Hills of the JP & the Gilberts company CLICK HERE.

Colonel Longinus' Tour Log - Entry 7252010

2010-08-13T20:33:00.014-04:00

10:42 Hrs ::

We managed to secure ourselves in a safe house that Meddlesome Bells company provided. We looked over our bearings before heading out to our next check point. With our covers blown, Private Williams was assigned guard duty that night and slept in the brush.

13:33 Hrs ::

We stopped at a food silo and resupplied our rations.

15:03 Hrs ::

Since our aliases were no longer secure, our original mission had to be reoriented about 5 clicks North West. Sergent Monaghan and Corporal Maase were handling the logisticals, while Rear Admiral Hill and Specialist Trotter were working on the rescrambling the code in hopes it wouldn't be broken this time.

17:05 Hrs ::

With our new mission in place, we had to develop a new cover. Sergent Monaghan took new photos and developed new travel visas for us. Private Williams and myself made sure to research and really become our new handle. Our efforts were insuring that there would be no way we could be marked again.

21:56 Hrs ::

As we arrived in Charlottesville, Virginia Sergent Monaghan did some last minute reconnaissance. Datus company and JP & The Gilberts company performed superbly. We infiltrated foreign soil and drew in the local population. However we feel that our point of contact at that location may not be on the level. Our team felt that he may have been a spy or turned traitor. Either way we feel future teams should proceed with caution.

For a more detailed report of our mission from team member Alex Hills of the JP & the Gilberts company CLICK HERE.

Colonel Longinus' Tour Log - Entry 7242010

2010-08-13T12:26:00.026-04:00

12:12 Hrs ::

Cleaned face and teeth and arrived at Rad Pad. The team were still getting ready to deploy.

14:35 Hrs ::

We packed our gear and persons into the mobile carrier and charted the path to our first rendezvous point.

21:04 Hrs ::

Arrived in Gardenville, Pennsylvania. We were assigned meet up Alls Vanity and Meddlesome Meddlesome Meddlesome Bells company. With our teams in place were told to neutralize the R.A.T. Gallery.

01:14 Hrs ::

Our mission was a success, but our cover was blown. Things got a little hairy and we had to escape to Virginia through the Delaware River.

For a more detailed report of our mission from team member Alex Hills of the JP & the Gilberts company CLICK HERE.

VITIATE ON ITUNES

2010-07-23T15:34:00.000-04:00

Vitiate is now available on iTunes and Amazon. Check 'em out and let us know what you think. We'll love you forever.

Ezer

P.S. Apparently 'Chickenhawk' is a swear word and the name was starred out by iTunes. Controversy.

Jack Sprat Show (July 25th) Canceled

2010-07-22T15:07:00.000-04:00

To any and all those people that might have been thinking of coming to our North Carolina show at Jack Sprat, DON'T. We got word from the booker of the venue that a private event (booked a couple days ago) bumped us out. It seems rather questionable at best, but apparently there is nothing we can do about it. We are looking into alternative places to play for that night. We'll keep you all posted.

Feel free to send me any suggestions if you have any.

Ezer

NEW EQUIPMENT FOR TOUR

2010-07-19T14:22:00.000-04:00

Trevor fucked my Electro Harmonix Micro Synthesizer pedal. It is partly my fault, since I treated it like shit, but he shouldn't have followed my example. What a dick!

So instead of spending money I don't really have, I decided to take the character building route and make my own pedal. I found a similar style pedal schematic in Craig Anderton's Projects for Guitarists. I was able to breadboard the pedal and get it to process sound. It was a bit of a trial and error, because I couldn't tell if the pedal was supposed to be making that fucked up sound, or if one of my ten thumbs was accidentally shorting components. I am sure my neighbors were thrilled with this part of the project.

It also didn't help that my desk is small as fuck and completely over crowded. I really do clear off my desk before I start a new project, but in no time it looks like I've been sneezing electronic parts for the last couple hours.

After breadboarding, and the device theoretically works, I started building the enclosure and soldering the components. All my other projects have been in plastic cases or aluminium. This is the first time I am actually making something with some durability. I quickly found out that my drill bits are bullshit (and expensive) :( And, printing out the layout and taping it over where you are going to drill (instead of just measuring and marking) is fucking genius. Who ever thought of that or whatever blog I took that idea from -- Thanks!

After I put everything together it seems that nothing is working right. The short answer was that it was a ground problem and I'm an idiot. The long answer is boring, but if you really want to know you can e-mail me (or visit me at one of our shows) and I'll tell you all about it.

After I got it working I gave it Trevor to use. Turns out this thing is fucking loud and a little unwieldy for guitar. After doing my best to convince him otherwise ("Whaaaaaaa.....but I spent all that time....and couldn't you use it for this one song...") I took the pedal back. Thankfully it does work well for my vocals. At least that's what I am telling myself until I can build a better one.

If you can make it out to any of our shows this coming tour I can chew your ear off about it for hours, and then you can hear it in action and judge how poorly I spent my time making this thing.

And feel free to e-mail your project woes. Comradery is welcomed.

Ezer

we had a RAD show with JP and the Gilberts... and we're going on tour TOGETHER!!!

2010-07-15T00:45:00.000-04:00

so tre, you think this show will be better than the last???

"ugh...only if ezer can keep his lech-y eyes off me."

meanwhile...

'ohh, i wonder if E. is gonna keep it under control tonight...'

later that night...

JP AND THE GILBERTS!!!!!!!

WHOOO!!! YOU GUYS RAWK!!!

(SCANDAL!!!)

"JP, this song is for you"

the next day...

(it was time to DATUS!!!)

just a routine set-up...

' don't look up...... its riiiiight there...doooon't looook uuuppp..'

I can soooo feel the weight of his wanton gaze on my scrumptious backside...

mmmmm.....

MMMMMMM......

meanwhile...

'OMFG!!! did i forget to take off my nail polish??"

...

'i'm sooo mortified...'

DAYUM BOI!!!

"BACK THAT BADONK UP!!!"

that's our show!!

THANKS FOR COMING!!! (^_^)

BUY OUR EPS ON ITUNES

2010-07-09T15:34:00.000-04:00

So I finally figured out how to link stuff to iTunes so people can purchase our music digitally. One would imagine that I would have been on top of that as soon as the EPs were made available on the internets, but laziness and ineptitude came calling at my door and I invited them in. Next time I'll grab some coffee and an intern and get it done right!

Below is our current EPs. And when Vitiate comes out, we'll make sure there is a proper link to that as well.

Ezer

MASC EP :: BUY NOW

FEM EP :: BUY NOW

NEUT EP :: BUY NOW

NEW SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-07-09T11:32:00.000-04:00

We just found out that we will be playing Piano's this Monday (July 12th) with Leopoldine, JP Gilbert, and Holiday Maker. Show starts at 8:00pm. We'll be in the back room taking pictures of ourselves. And if you can make it, we'll even take pictures of you too.

Ezer

12 Jul 2010 - Pianos - New York NY
w/Holiday Maker, Leopoldine, and JP Gilbert

DATUS TOUR

2010-07-02T00:45:00.000-04:00

With a little deliberation and small amount of coaxing we have put together a tour through the North Eastern part of the U.S. of A. to promote our new EP, Vitiate. Although in thinking about it, it's probably more likely that we made our EP to promote our tour. Either way we are pretty excited about it all. We will be playing almost all of our shows with our good friends JP & the Gilberts. Come out and say hi and we'll love you forever.

We are looking forward to making out to:

6 Jul 2010 - The Tank - New York NY
w/ Hadoken, The American Dollar, The Slowest Runner [in all the world]

24 Jul 2010 - R.A.T. Gallery - Gardenville PA
w/ JP & the Gilberts

25 Jul 2010 - Jack Sprat - Chapel Hill NC
w/ JP & the Gilberts, Aaron Berg & the Heavy Love

26 Jul 2010 - Horizon Records - Greenville SC
w/ JP & the Gilberts, Aaron Berg & the Heavy Love

27 Jul 2010 - Little Hamilton Collective - Nashville TN
w/ JP & the Gilberts

28 Jul 2010 - Mike's Studio - Bloomington IN
w/ JP & the Gilberts, Dust From 1000 Years, When We Might

29 Jul 2010 - The Empty Bottle - Chicago IL
w/ JP & the Gilberts, Columbines

30 Jul 2010 - Grammer's - Cincinnati OH
w/ JP & the Gilberts

31 Jul 2010 - The Lemon Grove Cafe - Youngstown OH
w/ JP & the Gilberts, Communipaw

2 Aug 2010 - Matchless - Brooklyn New York
w/ JP & the Gilberts

3 Sept 2010 - Surreal Estate - Brooklyn New York
w/ Starring, Algae and the Tentacles, Workshop Model, The Roulettes

Ezer

VITIATE

2010-06-22T16:25:00.000-04:00

One of the first products to come from our excursion to Florida is almost ready. We will be releasing a new 6 song EP on July 23rd, just in time for our US tour. If you caught any of our shows in the past few months you probably have heard at least one of these songs. We are also working on the an album proper to be released sometime in 2011. So, hopefully this will tide you over for the time being. I'll be posting songs and details about our tour real soon. Promise.

Track List for Vitiate:
Chickenhawk
Cuckold
Histamine Blocker
Gomer
Tanyas
Holy Mountain

Ezer

Limbaugh Mouth

2010-06-16T15:25:00.000-04:00

Waiting for things to happen seemed to be the main activity in Sarasota, Florida. While this was clearly an exercise in futility (since nothing ever happens in Sarasota) I still found myself indulging in the sport. Most of my time was spent waiting for people to wake up or waiting for people to stop working. Since recording wasn't really an option and I was tired of hearing myself play the same five chords on the guitar, I decided to make my own instrument.

The idea came to me after scouring through the books in the house we were living/recording in. The previous tenant was my step-mother's step-father. And with most grandfather's of that generation there are usually some collection of James Michener books and biographies of Lee Iacocca. This house was in no short supply. I found a couple Rush Limbaugh books and decided that one of those will be the housing for the instrument. I chose his "See, I Told You So" (as opposed to "The Way Things Ought To Be") only because it had more pages and I could fit more electronics in it.

I used some schematics from a Nicholas Collins' Handmade Electronic Music. Which I recommend to anyone who has any interest in making their own electronic devices. It took me about a day to put together the schematic and make it functional. Although it took about two days to figure out the housing of it and make that workable. Hollowing out a book with a shitty box knife is unbelievably time consuming. There are probably better ways, but it didn't occur to me at the time. The only big mistake I made was using epoxy to glue the pages together. The pages didn't really hold that well, and the epoxy collected a huge amount of house dirt while it was drying. By the time book dried it looked like I had been wiping my ass with it for the last fifteen years. Then Rachele found some wood glue in the garage, and that turned out much better. After that I just assembled all the parts and made it work. We even used it in some of our recordings.

This picture is the finished product. Each knob above the speaker corresponds to different oscillators, and each oscillator modulates the other. The knob on to the right of the speaker was theoretically to control volume, but it actually controls speed and volume of the oscillations. Not exactly sure how I accomplished this, but I liked it so I kept it.

Below is a recording of me randomly twiddling the knobs.

Ezer

LimbaughMouth.mp3

wat's da jamielio???

2010-03-25T03:20:00.001-04:00

QUESTION: What's the best thing to have happened since bologna with those little black peppercorns things in them??

ANSWER: JAMIEL!!! aka JAMBOT aka JAMIELIO aka JAMMY JAM aka.....

STOP!!! JAMMER TIME!!!

hmm... wonder what he's gonna get.....

OMG! Totes got the same thing as MEEEE!!!

MY TEAM!

Guess who I'm googling!!!

OMG!!! Command+tab!!! Whew!!!

Such a **BADASS** too...swwoooon.

"Hey man, you gonna pick this flippin' chair ?!?!"

"pfff...."

Yet, with a sensitive side...

awww....

Thanks for visiting JAMBOT!!!

CHEERS!!!

SPRING BREAK 2K10!!!!!

2010-03-25T02:30:00.000-04:00

SIESTA KEY POPPIN' OFF!!

Get your smirnoff ice buzz goin cuz MTV be rollin' thru dis ish!

"Yo E, bro, this be our year man! SB 2k10!! This guitar is gonna have the panties droppin'!"

"Yea bro, I'm totally feelin' it. Oh snap... I forgot. I have something in my pocket for you."

PWNED TO THE MAX!!!

"Laterz son, I gotta go piss out some joose!"

AAAAHHHH.....

kitty korner!!!

2010-03-16T16:00:00.000-04:00

Tired of looking at our busted faces??? Us too!!!

Iz time 4 KITTY KORNER!!! (^_^)

YAAAAAAAY!!!!

CHESTER!!! (*＾▽＾)

I can haz cheezberger!!

FROST!!! (･_･?)

I iz not pozin 4 camra!

HASTINGS!!! （｀ー´）

I iz dee bozz kitty!!

K! TnX! BAI!!!

We are what you dream about every night.

2010-03-15T17:17:00.000-04:00

Musicians are hot, right!?! YA! Get ready to quiver in your loins because.............

THIS IS YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!

HOT RIGHT!?!?! NO!!!!!! HAAAAAWWWWWWWTTTTTT!!!!!

That new ish...

2010-03-15T14:41:00.000-04:00

This is our new direction! Hope you like it!!!

Listen:

http://www.box.net/shared/2r7q86kkmm

Also here is our new album cover!!!

datus, we miss you. love, datus

2010-03-12T19:00:00.000-05:00

Shout-outs to our homie and regrettably absent Datus member, Rebecca Roulette!!! Wish you were here!! Me especially! Testosterone OVERLOAADDD!!

<3 U!!!

p.s. How many times have you showered since we've been gone? A close approximation?

EVERYONE CHECK THIS OUT!!!

Roulettes playing this Sunday at Bowery Poetry Club (308 Bowery
New York, NY) at 10:00 to honor the publication of Whip Smart by Melissa Febos.

MUNDANE TASKS OF DAY-TO-DAY = BUMMER

2010-03-12T01:59:00.000-05:00

Boring tasks of everyday life got you down??? Do you feel unfulfilled and listless as you drone on through the mundanity of existence???

LAUNDRY STINKS!!!
TRY THIS INSTEAD!!!

GUARANTEED TO WORK!!!

Play Traffic Lights!!!
or
Conceptualize your new album cover!!!

Make your own Daft Punk music video!!!
YEEAAAHHH!!!

Interpretive dance!!!
Artistic expression rocks!!!

Gone get yo camera phone on!
ITS A PHOTO SHOOT!!!

Live action Street Fighter II!!!
HADOUKEN!!

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!

Check out these testimonials!!!

"Well, I sure did have an awesome time today! It didn't even feel like laundry day!"

"hmm...yeaa..."

Welcome to Datusland...

2010-03-10T03:00:00.000-05:00

aka Herbsville. Herb as in gomer, not basil.

Rad back.

Set'd up in front.

wait for it...........

........

......

....

..

HERBS IN HERBSVILLE!!!!

Overdue pics from the road.

2010-03-09T16:47:00.000-05:00

...with captions.

refilz in jerz.

I don't even want to speak about the regret I felt after feeding this abomination* an undisclosed amount of quarters.
*note the bastardly (meaning strategically) placed $20.

Fyi, it was about the same amount of regret one would feel after they realized they could have purchased a Sunday edition AND daily edition of The Progress Index in Petersburg, PA.

Red Carpet Inn is not a misnomer because the carpet actually was red. We ARE that snazzy.

"HARK! What lies in the distance???"
A BIGAZZ SOMBRERO!!!...marking the entrance to S. Carolina???

What a daredevil.

And on we ride into the sunset....

Everyone has already blogged about this today

2010-03-09T03:25:00.000-05:00

Lil' Wayne. Sniffles.

Tonight we watched THE CARTER. The whole family. Kitties too. It was magical.

What we learned from the movie: nothing we didn't already know. Also, Lil' Wayne is not going to die at 28.

In honor of Weezy let us all drink sizzurp everyday of his sentence. Let's not do that.

A Momentous Occasion

2010-03-08T02:34:00.000-05:00
Showers. You either love 'em or you hate 'em, right?? All-in or no-go, it's that simple, or least that's the way it should be. Well, around here there are no judgements (or soaps)-- just like the dumpster in the alley behind your house, or that other place you like to go called the Boom Boom Cabaret.

Tally since Brooklyn as of 3/7/10...

And then the unthinkable happened in the wee hours 3/8/10...not because personal hygiene was a matter weighing heavily on Ezer's mind, but because Frost the cat wiped his poopy butt all over Ezer's arm. Thanks for being courteous and not walking around smelling like poo. Thanks a lot.

In the beginning....

2010-03-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

In the beginning...there was <3 love. We left from Brooklyn on March 1st and headed toward Sarasota with visions of grand innovation and musical inspiration. So we packed, and drove, Trevor and I in one car, Ezer in another. Then there was driving.... driving... driving.. for two days with a really janky hotel called the Red Carpet Inn in between. Now we are in Datusland .......and we hate each other.....

disgust.....

apathy....

contempt...

Oh look! Trevor loves us.....oh wait, he loves the internet. Loves it soo much he can't tear himself away while breakfasting with his band mates. Thanks. Thanks a lot.